Children Forgotten

Christina M

Honors English Period 1

5/14/12

Children Forgotten                 

“Our mission at Adopted – Abused is to collect data on adoption abuse from the adoptees themselves: to make the world a safer, better monitored place, FOR THE CHILDREN”(Adopted-Abused).  That’s the mission statement of Adopted-Abused, a website/blog where victims of foster abuse can anonymously share their stories with others.

           Being an adopted child myself I was curious of others’ stories. After reading these entries my curiosity turned to rage and disbelief at how much and how long the system has been failing the children left in their care.

            A report released in 1996 states that “12,000 children out of about 60,000 in foster care that [New York] City caseworkers cannot immediately locate”(The Lost Children). Since then the number of children in foster care has risen yet the system still seems to be in crisis. ABC News reports of “…evidence of falsified reports and cover-ups within the state’s Department of Children and Families…”(Foster Children).  As horrible as it sounds, loosing the children is not the worst part of this story. Many children are adopted, but not always into loving arms.

            The rules in place require monthly visits to ensure the safety of the child but these rules are often ignored. One foster mother says, “Only one of them had ever visited her home despite state rules requiring monthly visits”(The Lost Children). There are so many children looking for a home that the system struggles to keep up. “The system has lost it’s focus... All it seems to want to do is get a kid into a foster home, no matter whether it’s a good home for the child, then forget about him”

(The Lost Children). This results in children being shuffled from one relative to the next, one foster family to the next, in and out of the system, and, it their lucky, with a loving family. If their not lucky, which seems to be the case more and more often, with abusers and even criminals. Another foster mother “…who has been twice convicted on fraud and theft charges, says caseworkers knew about her criminal record”(Foster Children).

Adopting children from overseas seems to have become the latest trend with Hollywood celebrities andmakes it easy for people to turn a blind eye to the troubles facing adopted children right here in our communities. “Former foster children have surpassed veterans as the number one group in California’s homeless shelters. 40 percent of foster kids wind up on the street…”(Foster Kids). Part of the reason for this is adopted teens being thrown out or voluntarily leaving their adopted parents, getting away from the emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.

            Some of the entries are hard to read. You start to question how this can be going on, possibly right next door, and no one seems to be doing a damn thing. The system has failed us and yet we do nothing. People feeling like no one is listening but refusing to be ignored. They share their stories via blog hoping someone will listen. Many people tell of the sexual abuse they had to endure. “He[adoptive father]raped me at age 4…till I was 8…he took away my innocence”(Adopted-Abused). She was thrown out at age 16. No one in the system ever noticed she was gone.

            Others have been emotionally and physically abused admitting things like “ I also got hangers around my neck” “there was no love in our family” “I was left with with adults who used me as if I was their toy.” “I was hungry other times I wasn’t allowed to eat”(Adopted-Abused). Left in abusive homes by the system. Left to fend for themselves. There are many more who have not told their storied. Either too afraid or too young to be taken seriously. Some still in the grips of abusive adoptive parents. Myself and a handful of others  were lucky to get the adoptive parents that

we have. For all the others who were lost or abused, there needs to be change in the system. Starting with blogs and websites like Adopted-Abused we could make those changes that are so desperately needed. Needed so that there are no more entries that end with “ I regret being adopted. I wish I were dead instead”(Adopted-Abused).